What Happened to Thor?

As we approach Thanksgiving,
I can’t help but think of Thor.
I remember the very first time,
he entered the courtroom door.

From being thrown to the floor,
and thrown in jail.
He had not a friend,
to free him with bail.

But with the last-minute plea,
to the President himself.
He received a pardon,
how good it felt!

He gathered all the holiday animals,
and formed a holiday union.
No animal was excluded,
even the despicable Minion.

He left his post in Turkey,
no longer an ambassador.
He needed a change of scenery,
he opened and entered a new door.

The FBI and CIA,
were looking for him at home.
He left his post in Turkey,
now he was all alone.

He knew that hiding was his only safety,
where he was was anyone’s guess.
Life was going along so well,
how did he end up in this mess?

He tried the power of his hammer,
but it didn’t have it’s usual effect.
Life just seemed to go downhill,
no matter what he tried to interject.

But finally he found his place to hide,
it wasn’t comfortable, but it saved his head.
He joined the wild turkeys,
right here in Riverhead.

At least for now, it was a plan,
’til he could come up with something better.
It was cold in the woods,
maybe someone could knit him a sweater.

He has a plan, but he has to wait,
until the new President takes office.
He’ll try for another pardon,
he has a million signatures, that should suffice.


Should Cupid Quit?

After Cupid had a hard year,
he finally decided to pack his gear.
He sold his bows and arrows,
he would not work any more tomorrows.

He lived his life according to plan,
after all, he was his biggest fan.
He was always proud when it turned out right,
and people had futures ever so bright.

But with his symptoms of being old,
and February being a month so cold.
His retirement would be a welcome change,
and maybe a home in the open range.

And the choices are many for him to decide,
yet wherever he goes, he’ll not be able to hide.
He was a celebrity- of this no doubt,
and he was someone who had some clout.

“Maybe I’ll open a business or so,
it will help to give me somewhere to go.
I have experience in the field of dating,
and with that background, there will be no waiting!”

“I might work for my good friend Thor,
or maybe be romantic and open a jewelry store!
Or maybe just rest and take it slow,
but that may be boring- I just don’t know!”

“Decisions, decisions, I can’t make up my mind,
nothing seems right for whatever I find.
Maybe I’m hasty and I’m acting too quick,
all these choices- what should I pick?”

“Maybe I’ll go see the doctor today,
listen and see what he has to say.
Maybe there is medicine to put me on track,
and I might even get my old job back.”

“I brought joy and happiness to many hearts,
perfect aim with my love darts.
If I give up, what will they do,
it will be sad without an ‘I love you!'”

“The doctor was able to give me a lift,
ripped up the bill and said, ‘It’s my gift!’
Not many people work just one day a year,
and bring to people so much cheer.”

Thor Returns

Thor has been very busy,
as busy as a bee.
He’s now involved in government,
the ambassador to Turkey.

He feels that he’s safe,
wherever he goes.
Only Canada celebrates Thanksgiving too,
as everybody knows.

But with a Presidential pardon,
and working for the government.
Thor feel that his future,
is as solid as cement.

But I have news for him,
a pardon can be revoked.
If the President gets upset,
and, for any reason, is provoked.

Thor is getting lonely,
so far away from home.
There are no other turkeys,
he’s distraught and all alone.

His days are very boring,
he needs a change of life.
Maybe he should come home,
and find himself a wife.

He buys himself a ticket,
that’s only good one-way.
When he gets home,
maybe he’ll want to stay.

But now his troubles begin,
because he’s abandoned the embassy.
And the FBI & CIA is looking for him,
behind every rock and tree.

Now the President is involved,
as you knew that he would be.
The President reverses his pardon,
now Thor’s life is in jeopardy.

He cannot turn to union friends,
to help out of this mess.
The day is quickly approaching,
just as you might guess.

His only hope will be to flee,
to avoid the chopping block.
His time is running short,
again, maybe he can beat the clock.

He has a friend to help him,
get out of the country soon.
And if all comes to pass,
he’ll be gone before noon.

No one told him where he was going,
they just promised to help him out.
He was glad to have some help,
and he believed without a doubt.

At least he knew he’d save his neck,
and not be someone’s dinner.
This was better than losing his head,
once again, he felt like a winner.


Cupid’s Misfire

Cupid is filling his quiver,
with arrows set to fly.
Valentine’s Day is soon approaching,
and his arrows will fill the sky.

Cupid, though, is getting older,
as the years continue to go by.
His aim is not as steady,
sometimes his arrow goes awry.

This year, he’ll be starting early,
for he has so much to do.
He’ll start the first of February,
shooting arrows of love at you.

February 2 is Groundhog Day,
and it should draw a big crowd.
He could get a lot accomplished,
it would make him very proud.

So, on Groundhog Day,
he made an early appearance.
His quiver was full when he was ready,
and there was a large attendance.

He began to fire his arrows of love,
and everything was going fine.
But, of course one arrow went astray,
and the groundhog was right in line.

He saw his shadow and fell in love,
after being struck by the arrow.
And everywhere he would go,
his love was sure to follow.

Then one day the sky was cloudy,
and his love was gone away.
He searched and searched, but to no avail,
he’d have to wait for a sunny day.

The groundhog lived in Pennsylvania,
his name was Punxsutawney Phil.
He was thinking about retirement,
approaching “over the hill.”

He was a very rich groundhog,
he had absolutely no debt.
He invested wisely in his union,
ask Thor, his union rep.

When the sun came out again,
and Phil’s love was finally back.
He couldn’t remember what day it was,
he had completely lost track.

It was now the 14th of February,
and he hadn’t gotten his lover a gift.
The nearest town was so far away,
to get there, he needed a lift.

He didn’t know what to get,
he hadn’t been in love before.
But he noticed when he entered in,
his love wasn’t with him any more.

You’ll never guess what happened next,
and who was in the store.
Explained everything that was going on,
who else would be such help, but Thor?

So after Phil heard the story,
of all that he’d been through.
He decided on a long retirement,
and boy, it was surely due.

He put in his papers for retirement,
and everyone had an idea for him.
He decided on a long, long, long, retirement,
and he changed his name to Jim.

And if it doesn’t seem to work out,
although it seems like a plan.
He’ll call his friend Bill Murray,
he was Phil’s biggest fan.

Happy Groundhog Day!

We Need a Union

A union meeting is called,
and all the animals were invited.
Whoever represented a holiday,
they needed to be united.

This would not be a simple task,
to get all the animals to agree.
When trying to elect the President,
the first animal in history.

Everyone wondered who it would be,
to be the leader of the pack.
They all felt qualified,
they all felt able, as a matter of fact.

The snowman was the first eliminated,
because of the summer heat.
He no longer had it together,
his head was now his feet.

The groundhog was the next to go,
he hid all winter through.
And if he happens to see his shadow,
six more weeks of winter do.

The leprechaun was the third,
to have to go away.
His pot of gold looked lovely,
yet never able to pay.

The robin was a snowbird,
every year traveling south.
He couldn’t answer questions,
with a beak & not a mouth.

The Easter bunny is a fraud,
he really doesn’t lay any eggs.
So we couldn’t have a phony in office,
and I see he has no legs.

The chicken and the cow have troubles of their own,
they are locked in a vicious battle.
Each wants the other extinct.
Can you imagine life without chicken & cattle?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
the reindeer took the test and failed.
After court with his attorney,
he’s now been permanently jailed.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,
had a nose that was very bright.
No one was able to get any sleep,
he kept everyone up all night.

Cupid flies all around,
shooting darts of love at everyone he sees.
And with all the people in the world,
he’s busier than a hive of bees.

Halloween has the black cat,
and I have something to keep him busy.
Going round and round in circles,
until he becomes so dizzy.

And what is making him this way?
Timothy the Church Mouse!
Running up and down,
and all through the house.

I tried to reason with Dominick the donkey,
but I couldn’t understand a word he said.
And listening to a donkey speak in Italian,
was too much for my head.

So that only leaves one man for the job,
and I happen to know him very well.
He received the Presidential pardon,
as time rang the midnight bell.

Down came the hammer,
bringing thunder and lightning.
The power and the new President,
uniting the animals, (that’s frightening!)

Thor the Turkey: Pardoned or Chopped?

Let me introduce myself,
I’m a turkey, and the name is Thor.
I’m here and on a mission,
listen now, I’ll tell you more.

If you ever get close to me,
to try to do what you do,
down will come my hammer,
and you’ll feel its power on you.

Again, my name is Thor,
and I’m more than the average turkey.
I’m very multi-talented,
and I also write poetry.

Two of my many friends,
are locked in a battle now.
You may know the two of them,
they are the chicken and the cow.

“Eat more beef,” says the one,
EAT MOR CHIKIN“* says the other.
Why can’t they work it out,
and live like sisters together?

I went to court to check it out,
and checked my hammer at the door.
I entered the court to try and help,
and they wrestled me to the floor.

They had visions of me for dinner,
and off to jail I went.
Thanksgiving was closing in,
and I would be the main event!

There was no escaping now,
I called the President to plead.
I asked him for his mercy,
“I’m in a desperate time of need.”

Time is getting short,
and the hour is very late.
It seems like this is the end,
dinner is my final fate.

As the clock is striking twelve,
I’m listening to it ding.
But in the faded distance,
I can hear a phone ring.

Could it be the President,
did he call after all?
Could it be a pardon,
or will the guillotine fall?

Is it true, is it true,
has my execution stopped?
Has my neck been saved,
instead of being chopped?

After I was pardoned,
I felt like a winner.
And everyone celebrated,
with a festive turkey dinner!

*EAT MOR CHIKIN is a registered trademark of Chick-Fil-A Inc.