Let me introduce myself,
I’m a turkey, and the name is Thor.
I’m here and on a mission,
listen now, I’ll tell you more.

If you ever get close to me,
to try to do what you do,
down will come my hammer,
and you’ll feel its power on you.

Again, my name is Thor,
and I’m more than the average turkey.
I’m very multi-talented,
and I also write poetry.

Two of my many friends,
are locked in a battle now.
You may know the two of them,
they are the chicken and the cow.

“Eat more beef,” says the one,
“EAT MOR CHIKIN“* says the other.
Why can’t they work it out,
and live like sisters together?

I went to court to check it out,
and checked my hammer at the door.
I entered the court to try and help,
and they wrestled me to the floor.

They had visions of me for dinner,
and off to jail I went.
Thanksgiving was closing in,
and I would be the main event!

There was no escaping now,
I called the President to plead.
I asked him for his mercy,
“I’m in a desperate time of need.”

Time is getting short,
and the hour is very late.
It seems like this is the end,
dinner is my final fate.

As the clock is striking twelve,
I’m listening to it ding.
But in the faded distance,
I can hear a phone ring.

Could it be the President,
did he call after all?
Could it be a pardon,
or will the guillotine fall?

Is it true, is it true,
has my execution stopped?
Has my neck been saved,
instead of being chopped?

After I was pardoned,
I felt like a winner.
And everyone celebrated,
with a festive turkey dinner!

*EAT MOR CHIKIN is a registered trademark of Chick-Fil-A Inc.