The Elephant

An elephant in a laundry basket
Is really quite a sight
I don’t know how she lifted it
Because elephants aren’t light.

A fellow in the group
Gave him the name Eugene
I would have named him Bubbles
Because he didn’t look heavy and mean.

We’ve yet to figure out
Why Eugene got in the basket
I think he got stuck
Playing hide and seek and had no camouflage kit.

Maybe the lady was trying
To find him a better place
He couldn’t walk around
And leave footprints to trace.

Maybe he was waiting
For all the wash to fold
Because he was looking
For a bed out of the cold.

Whatever the reason
The picture did seem odd
The picture was missing someone
With fishing gear and rod.

But looking at all involved
And seeing how everything goes
I think a nickname for Bubbles
Should be Twinkle Toes.


Should Cupid Quit?

After Cupid had a hard year,
he finally decided to pack his gear.
He sold his bows and arrows,
he would not work any more tomorrows.

He lived his life according to plan,
after all, he was his biggest fan.
He was always proud when it turned out right,
and people had futures ever so bright.

But with his symptoms of being old,
and February being a month so cold.
His retirement would be a welcome change,
and maybe a home in the open range.

And the choices are many for him to decide,
yet wherever he goes, he’ll not be able to hide.
He was a celebrity- of this no doubt,
and he was someone who had some clout.

“Maybe I’ll open a business or so,
it will help to give me somewhere to go.
I have experience in the field of dating,
and with that background, there will be no waiting!”

“I might work for my good friend Thor,
or maybe be romantic and open a jewelry store!
Or maybe just rest and take it slow,
but that may be boring- I just don’t know!”

“Decisions, decisions, I can’t make up my mind,
nothing seems right for whatever I find.
Maybe I’m hasty and I’m acting too quick,
all these choices- what should I pick?”

“Maybe I’ll go see the doctor today,
listen and see what he has to say.
Maybe there is medicine to put me on track,
and I might even get my old job back.”

“I brought joy and happiness to many hearts,
perfect aim with my love darts.
If I give up, what will they do,
it will be sad without an ‘I love you!'”

“The doctor was able to give me a lift,
ripped up the bill and said, ‘It’s my gift!’
Not many people work just one day a year,
and bring to people so much cheer.”

50 Years of Lost in Space

This week marks the 50th anniversary of the sci-fi TV series, Lost in Space. To celebrate, here’s a poem highlighting the show’s main protagonist, Dr. Zachary Smith.

The man is nuts,
that is no myth.
The good doctor’s name,
is Zachary Smith.

Man set out to colonize space,
aboard the Jupiter 2.
But Smith, a foreign agent,
plotted to kill the crew.

But the poor man got trapped,
and threw them off balance.
Now hopelessly lost in space,
with nothing but a bit of science.

Hopping from planet to planet,
exploring each alien land.
The Robinsons often in danger,
at Dr. Smith’s selfish hand.

Always plotting and scheming,
some way back to Earth.
He bargains with aliens,
to increase his net worth.

He gets more than he asked for,
and gets into trouble a lot.
Smith isn’t the biggest fan,
of Major West and The Robot.

No matter what planet they land on,
Smith will find a way.
He ignores all the warnings,
and proceeds anyway.

Although declared unstable,
by the Intergalactic Panel.
There’ll be more charades next week,
same time, same channel.

Welcome to Cuba

O’ you from a faraway land,
our nation is within reach.
Our island is majestic & grand,
and have many-a-beach.

You may stay in a resort,
or even a bungalow.
You’ll come sailing into our port,
and you’ll be happy everywhere you go.

The best time to come to our fair isle,
is May through September.
You might just stay a while,
or you may hang around forever.

Just be sure to pay your tax money,
so our President you don’t miff.
And if you think that’s funny,
we’ll throw you off a cliff.

“Hoppy” Egg-cellent Easter!

The Easter bunny,
doesn’t lay eggs.
No matter how much,
you pull her legs.

She doesn’t even lay,
delicious jelly beans.
When you pull her tail,
she just screams.

A candy-lover she is not,
she’s more of a vegetarian.
Which makes it fine for the chicken,
the bunny’s not a barbarian.

So how does all the candy,
that fills plastic eggs galore,
cause the kids such joy,
searching house and yard for?

The parents prepare and count,
and try to remember where.
All the eggs are hidden,
helping the littlest- not fair!

It always seems to happen,
we find another egg next year!
No matter how well we counted,
and we say, “Don’t worry, dear.”

The ones that are filled with money,
are the first ones to find.
We remember where they are,
locked solid in our mind.

We have the kids search and search,
then we take the candy away.
Too much candy is no good,
especially all in one day.

The kids should hide all the eggs,
and that would truly be dandy.
Except all the eggs we find,
I’m sure would all be empty.

So let the bunny have her day,
and all she does in part.
But, remember that Jesus rose today,
and lives within our heart.

Cupid’s Misfire

Cupid is filling his quiver,
with arrows set to fly.
Valentine’s Day is soon approaching,
and his arrows will fill the sky.

Cupid, though, is getting older,
as the years continue to go by.
His aim is not as steady,
sometimes his arrow goes awry.

This year, he’ll be starting early,
for he has so much to do.
He’ll start the first of February,
shooting arrows of love at you.

February 2 is Groundhog Day,
and it should draw a big crowd.
He could get a lot accomplished,
it would make him very proud.

So, on Groundhog Day,
he made an early appearance.
His quiver was full when he was ready,
and there was a large attendance.

He began to fire his arrows of love,
and everything was going fine.
But, of course one arrow went astray,
and the groundhog was right in line.

He saw his shadow and fell in love,
after being struck by the arrow.
And everywhere he would go,
his love was sure to follow.

Then one day the sky was cloudy,
and his love was gone away.
He searched and searched, but to no avail,
he’d have to wait for a sunny day.

The groundhog lived in Pennsylvania,
his name was Punxsutawney Phil.
He was thinking about retirement,
approaching “over the hill.”

He was a very rich groundhog,
he had absolutely no debt.
He invested wisely in his union,
ask Thor, his union rep.

When the sun came out again,
and Phil’s love was finally back.
He couldn’t remember what day it was,
he had completely lost track.

It was now the 14th of February,
and he hadn’t gotten his lover a gift.
The nearest town was so far away,
to get there, he needed a lift.

He didn’t know what to get,
he hadn’t been in love before.
But he noticed when he entered in,
his love wasn’t with him any more.

You’ll never guess what happened next,
and who was in the store.
Explained everything that was going on,
who else would be such help, but Thor?

So after Phil heard the story,
of all that he’d been through.
He decided on a long retirement,
and boy, it was surely due.

He put in his papers for retirement,
and everyone had an idea for him.
He decided on a long, long, long, retirement,
and he changed his name to Jim.

And if it doesn’t seem to work out,
although it seems like a plan.
He’ll call his friend Bill Murray,
he was Phil’s biggest fan.

Happy Groundhog Day!

We Need a Union

A union meeting is called,
and all the animals were invited.
Whoever represented a holiday,
they needed to be united.

This would not be a simple task,
to get all the animals to agree.
When trying to elect the President,
the first animal in history.

Everyone wondered who it would be,
to be the leader of the pack.
They all felt qualified,
they all felt able, as a matter of fact.

The snowman was the first eliminated,
because of the summer heat.
He no longer had it together,
his head was now his feet.

The groundhog was the next to go,
he hid all winter through.
And if he happens to see his shadow,
six more weeks of winter do.

The leprechaun was the third,
to have to go away.
His pot of gold looked lovely,
yet never able to pay.

The robin was a snowbird,
every year traveling south.
He couldn’t answer questions,
with a beak & not a mouth.

The Easter bunny is a fraud,
he really doesn’t lay any eggs.
So we couldn’t have a phony in office,
and I see he has no legs.

The chicken and the cow have troubles of their own,
they are locked in a vicious battle.
Each wants the other extinct.
Can you imagine life without chicken & cattle?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
the reindeer took the test and failed.
After court with his attorney,
he’s now been permanently jailed.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,
had a nose that was very bright.
No one was able to get any sleep,
he kept everyone up all night.

Cupid flies all around,
shooting darts of love at everyone he sees.
And with all the people in the world,
he’s busier than a hive of bees.

Halloween has the black cat,
and I have something to keep him busy.
Going round and round in circles,
until he becomes so dizzy.

And what is making him this way?
Timothy the Church Mouse!
Running up and down,
and all through the house.

I tried to reason with Dominick the donkey,
but I couldn’t understand a word he said.
And listening to a donkey speak in Italian,
was too much for my head.

So that only leaves one man for the job,
and I happen to know him very well.
He received the Presidential pardon,
as time rang the midnight bell.

Down came the hammer,
bringing thunder and lightning.
The power and the new President,
uniting the animals, (that’s frightening!)