Though so often, life is too much to bear,
even by praying into Thy care.
We expect relief the instant we ask,
no matter the problem or task.

I look at the sky, all cloudy and gray,
daily, my problems won’t go away.
Then I think, if all was all right,
would I be here on Friday night?

I come to the altar and get down on my knees,
begin to pray by asking Him, “Please?”
The same problems, Lord, week after week,
I continue to come, I continue to seek.

But how long, Lord, will I have to wait?
I hope for an answer, before it is too late.
But late it may be in my frame of time,
He reaches out and places His hand in mine.

“Come with Me, let’s go for a walk,
We’ll travel in Spirit, and We can talk.”
He answers my questions, one and all,
and tells me to wait, for He is in control.

The sanctuary is empty, void of all sound,
maybe He’ll visit if I just hang around.
Answer all these questions going through my head,
with Scripture from the Word I’m sure I have read.

The time that I have is not nearly enough,
each day the path gets more narrow and rough.
I remember that day, I wish I could go back,
start over again, fill in what I lack.

Around the altar, now filling in one by one,
brethren seeking the Father and Jesus, the Son.
I wish I could join them and fulfill my part,
get rid of the confusion that tears open my heart.

I listen to others as they worship His name,
and I wonder to myself why I even came.
Around the altar- worship, praise, requests, & tears,
and in my pew, I’m still filled with my fears.

I wonder how different I would approach the altar,
every time I try, my body seems to falter.
I know I should be there, of that I have no doubt,
but still not enough to cause me to step out.

I look at the sea and it seems to say,
“Just step out, I’ll carry you away.”
I hear a voice, crying from the deep,
“Come join me now in an endless sleep.”

I don’t care to remember how many years ago,
I said, “Here I am, Lord. Send me, I’ll go.”
Now, it’s, “Lord, please find someone else,
I seem to have forgotten all that I know.”

Yet God says, “More than a conqueror I Am,”
He tells me I can, He’s my biggest Fan.
I am the head and not the tail,
if God is with me, I will never fail.

So let me gather my doubts and fears,
my times of weakness and all my tears.
My future is not as dark as it seems,
God will give me victorious dreams.

I return to the time I said I would go,
with Jesus I’ll stand against any foe.
Train me for battle- He’s got my back,
with Jesus I’m empowered, I have no lack.

O, Jesus, please take me, by Spirit I plead,
away from here, with all Mercy & Speed.
and while we’re together, wherever we go,
the Fire will rekindle and once again glow.

The sanctuary’s no longer void of all sound,
people of prayer are gathered all around.
Quietly, I retreat and find a solitary pew,
surveying the brethren from my point of view.

Still, I hear the others in worship & praise,
most have joined in, yet I sit and gaze.
Even my daughter did not hold back,
she’s up at the altar, with the courage I lack.

Will this recourse ever come to an end,
will I stand with others and call Jesus my Friend?
Will I ever find answers to the questions I ask,
or have I created the impossible task?

O, but I know, that I couldn’t write,
the struggle for my soul and this daily fight.
Knowledge and wisdom are not of my own,
but my Spirit transported from God’s Holy Throne.

Even knowing this wondrous gift from Above,
I still find it hard to give my heart in love.
It’s sad, really sad, amidst all of this strife,
that I’m so weak and willing to throw away life.

But thank God that Jesus never gives up,
His Resources reach the top of the cup.
I remember when I’m weak that He is Strong,
He never leaves me, He leads me along.

He gives me strength when I can’t bear,
He reminds me I’m never out of His care.
When I want to quit and throw the towel in,
Jesus reminds me- He’s conquered all sin.

I don’t have to worry, everything is done,
all the battles, He’s already won.
So stand strong in His Power & Might,
be a vessel to the world of Jesus’ Light.