Beware of Christian Horses

It’s not easy, but I’ll try my best,
to tell a joke in prose.
I just hope it’s not one,
that everybody knows.

Two couples were on vacation,
at a Christian dude ranch.
They decided to go horseback riding,
and one of the horses name was Branch.

“These are the only four horses I have left,
and they only answer to Christian commands.
You have to use words from the Bible,
so that they understand.

“Praise the Lord!” makes them go,
“Hallelujah!” makes ‘em turn right.
Another thing to remember,
is that the horses don’t go at night.

“Amen!” and he will go left,
“Glory!” and he will stop.
And watch out for the cliffs,
for they’re a deadly drop.

“Now you’re ready for a ride,
I hope you remember it all.
The horses are saddled and ready to go,
go and have yourselves a ball!”

They all got mounted up,
and started out from there.
They began slowly,
with a feeling of nervous care.

After riding for quite a while,
Branch was spooked by a snake.
He started to gallop in fright,
the ride was no longer a piece of cake.

As the horse went running off,
the rider forgot what to say.
He couldn’t remember a single command,
not a thing that was said all day.

He started reciting all the terms he knew,
and with no one to help, he was on his own, alas.
In the distance he saw a cliff,
and it was coming up fast.

“Hallelujah!” & the horse went left,
“Amen!” & the horse went right.
The more the horse ran,
the more he was filled with fright.

The rider tried to remember,
more words from the Bible story.
Because soon it would be the end,
and he’d end up in “Glory!”

The horse came to a stop,
at the very edge of the cliff.
The rider was so happy he had to say,
“Praise the Lord!” Get the drift?

Inspired by a common joke told in the public domain.


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